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Saturday, September 17, 2011

View from the better side

The past years have been filled with the full spectrum of trials, tribulations and testing for me. The worst years was when I lost my wife in a car accident.  I believe she was a gift from Him, we were inseparable, we had dreams, visions and always speculated about the possibilities of future bountiful events the Lord had for us. Then one day in a second, the dreams, visions, ambition, drive, and hope was shattered.  My life as I knew it, living for a purpose was gone, in a second.  I walked this earth, the domain of Satan, for years without a cause or purpose, the tragic event left me alone, I wasn't on the same communication level with Him, as I seen Him as the bystander and not the mountain mover.  I have asked Him forgive me and lead me the the heights of hope and love again, when she was walking with me. 
The first years of her absence were for me  were dead at best.  I lost everything I held dear, I couldn't love, have compassion. or care for other concerns in peoples lives.  Many would come and ask for advise and comment on certain political or religious topics, I would give a response they needed and all seem to be back to normal, as I have become a person fueled Hydraulic oil and anti-freeze.  I would look into certain lives and see the trials they were going through, but inside there was a void, a void of compassion and understanding and love.
Recent years have been blessed for me, the knowledge and understanding of the scripture, the thoughts and wonders of the Almighty were returning, but they were filed in my memory bank for future use.  The scripture as it relate to me and to us, without the understanding of the love and compassion it was written with. is pretty useless, I had the understanding, but the love and compassion didn't come in the same package.
I am a educated professional adult, I believe that there is order and protocol for everything on this earth and with the Almighty, logical order, but the sequence of events that led to the transformation of myself and another was nothing short of a crazy miracle, something that changed me was an act of lunacy, events that led me to do what I would not entertain is crazy indeed.  After the tragic loss, I lose the ability to love and have compassion, I wanted that back, I didn't receive it, so I closed those doors and fueled up on hydraulic fluid and anti-freeze.
The phrase God work in mysterious ways is truly an understatement, because the words I used were used against me.  I said I will not fall in love again.  God in His wisdom and understanding, not only use a wonderful person to reopen the door to love and compassion, but He is using us as a mirror to reflect His light to others. I will express my gratitude to Him always for His Love and Compassion and for the one He sent into my life that brought the transformation into both of our lives

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